I am at the Turkish Bath in Iași, during the International Theatre Festival for Young Audiences, in front of a blank, electronic page, on which I am urged to write a word or make a drawing that represents my vision of coexistence. The collective work titled Coexistence (in progress) will gather all the interventions of the visitors of RELATOPIA interactive performance, from the three meetings with the public — in Bucharest, Iași and Katerini, Greece —, and will become a common representation of the concept of coexistence. A multidisciplinary project by VAR Cultural Association (Vero Nica and Andu Dumitrescu), based on an extensive documentation process, RELATOPIA aimed to exploit the facets and valences of the couple relationship, the fragility and complexity of cohabitation, but also the way in which the relationship to intimacy and the concept of family have evolved over the last 60 years. Right upon entering, I was given a pink ribbon tied around my wrist, a successful representation of how we start a relationship — ready to put our partner on a pedestal and overlook any flaws or inadequacies.

An important element of RELATOPIA is the interactive installation Borrowed Faces, by visual artist Alexandru Claudiu Maxim, a project based on long-term research, in which portrait photographs found in archives were animated through AI software, thus receiving voice and face from the actors selected for this process. The stories they tell are monologues written based on interviews, conducted between April and May 2025, with people who wanted to share their experience, or that of their loved ones, regarding life as a couple. Through the installation, you have access to an archive of memories, in which older and more recent photographs and stories have been given faces and voices. Domestic violence, entering and remaining in toxic relationships, faulty relationships with parents, perpetuating harmful patterns you grew up with, addictions, shame, escaping attachment, personal boundaries, endurance and liberation are issues that, dressed differently, have not changed much from one generation to another and that influence, over time, the way we coexist, who we are and what we look for in relationships.

The exhibition also gathered individual or collective, interdisciplinary works, resulting from RELATOPIA creative residency — audio-video installations, video performances, artistic objects —, in an attempt to decode coexistence, in all its complexity. What was achieved is an artistic translation of the dynamics of the couple, with an emphasis on the involvement of the public. I would mention Front/Back, a work by Alina Tofan and Vero Nica, with photographs by Mihaela Lungu, a photo-performative album that can be opened from either end and in which we find visible (toxicity, violence) and invisible (affection, care) traces of relationships — the way a kiss on the shoulder can be kept or how much you can refrain from laughing when you are angry with the other. Or The Third Entity, a collective work by eight artists, which explores the fact that the relationship itself is an entity, separate from the two involved in it. The mirror here represents the perfect support for the way in which we live together: fogged up, it no longer reflects the viewer. The viewer is urged to quickly, instinctively, draw shapes on the mirror that outline the portrait of the relationship, the condensation disappearing shortly.

RELATOPIA is brought into the personal, intimate space, through the Cohabitation Kit for Couples, distributed by lottery to visitors — a set of objects created by the artists in residence to support life as a couple, highlighting the needs of respect, listening, tolerance, and play. You find an “Alphabet of Relationships” that you go through differently, depending on the lens you have, of the past or the present; you learn a new word, “thallint”, while planting and caring for a plant, carefully, with affection, just as you do with a relationship, until it takes root — and if it doesn’t happen the first time, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed; you complete and initial a necessary “Declaration of Intent” between the couple partners, with everything that protecting a relationship entails and with renewal, if necessary.

Beyond asking what the challenges of living together have been over time, understanding how much we have learned about coexistence, or what happens to ideals and expectations (the pink ribbon at the beginning), RELATOPIA creates a framework for intergenerational dialogue, based on the idea that 1+1=3. The two partners do not merge in the relationship, it must be treated as a separate entity from what each brings to this relationship, from their past, problems, character. An entity like a living organism, which needs attention, care and time to take root and grow.

„RELATOPIA”. Curator: Andu Dumitrescu, VAR Cultural Association [“Turkish Bath” International Art Centre, Iași, 5.10.2025]